Benita => Benny.
Africa.Senegal2NYC. College.Mathematics. Natural Hair. Sapiosexualism. Social Justice. Poetry. Love <3
.MY FACE.
.ME TALKING.
Lord this boy was so damn fineeeee. I couldn’t believe it. He had swag fi daysss.
To bad I didnt say hi…. =/ =/
First time you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend that you love them…
And they say back (& you see/hear the serious-ness in their voice)
The best feeling ever <3
Sex.
The absence of it. The part where I crave it but can’t receive it. The only possible thing to do is fantasize. The more you vision it the more you want it and the more real it gets. His dark muscular arms around your waist. His soft full lips on your lips, on your neck. It feels right, you feel secure. Tingles down you back. Soft moans repeatingly vibrating out you mouth. Then when it start. It feels that this is the only person in the world that’s ever meant to be there. The only person that can ever please you. He knows just how to hold you, lift you, spin you, twist you. Each stroke is so rhythmical, slow and slow and slow then fast. You get so excited so full, you can help but to drip and drip and drip. Wetting everything around you his clothes, your clothes, the bed, the couch. Every time seems new it seems different. Then right at the most intense moment he looks into your eyes. You romantically gaze into his turtle brown eyes. At that moment a burst of joy starts running through your body. What’s not to love about this person? He is perfection. And if I’ve fallen, I want to fall a thousand times again.
Huh, I miss my boyfriend. He need to come back from Nigeria noww =/
That moment when a very specific person, place or thing reminds you of an absolutely dreadful expereince from your past. You sit there and wonder how can you possible make such an awful decision. How can you consciously invite unwelcoming adversity with open arms. You couldn’t of possible been levelheaded. If you were possibly sane you wouldn’t have allowed some one - a stranger- to knock you off guard, grab your life by the neck, squeeze onto it until the very last second. The very last second were you almost lost everything. Where you almost lost you self, your life, your world. It scars you for the rest of your life. You try to forget every single detail from this moment. But then that one thing comes around and your remember again.
But How?
How could that have happen?
Who am I today if that’s what I did yesterday?
No.
This couldn’t have been reality. This must of been a dream.
It couldnt have happened.
I was…. I am delusional.
I just refuse to believe it.
“I believe in you Bineta, which is why I push, yell, nag, and piss you off. I will not settle for nothing but the best from and of you. I believe that in the process of pushing you, you’ll push me. I’m not perfect. I have a boat load of flaws, but together I think we can overcome them and attain happiness within each other.” - Quote for the Email my bf sent before he left to go to Nigeria
Does that mean something?
There is something fulfilling about having a boyfriend that is not only faithful, emotionally/financially stable, extremely intelligent but completely and utterly amazing in bed. I don’t know what in the world i was doing before but now its just speechless. Sex wasn’t sex until i had sex with him. This boy yoo “He gottta bigggg egooo” !
Every time I’m walking around Brooklyn and I see all these hipsters it makes me feel so abnormal. Like I don’t have my hair died blonde, a septum piercing, retarded hair cut -none of that shit. I feel like being normal has turned me into an outcast lols. What makes me laugh though is that the average person would find these hipsters a lot more interesting then me. However all these kids are all the same. Most of them lack so much ambition. They have no future. They all want to be models, singers, fashion designers & most popular Photographers! lol Shrugs. I’m perfectly fine with being an average loner. I know where I want to be five, ten years from now.
My baby plane is about to leave (He’s going to Nigeria). Ugh I don’t know. I know he’s coming back of course, I know its not going to me too long but I’m going to miss having access to him whenever i need him. Its normal for me to feel like this (everyone does) so I’m not worrying too much.
I hope he’s safe though. Nigeria is corrupt now a days. If if my baby gets hurt by any of those unintelligent Nigerian rebels I will go down their and wipe of their population. lol jk, But seriously. If anything happens to his plane god for bid now, but I just want him to be safe.
But now that he’s gone I seriously have no one to talk to. He’s my only friend, well he’s the only person that I count on right now.
Huh, oh well. I’ll use the time apart to work on my self physically, mentally and emotionally.
